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What If It Never Gets Better?

It had been one of those days. You know, the kind that make you want to transport from wherever you are straight into your bed so you can pull the covers over your head and pretend the world doesn't exist.


Well, since I'm not superwoman, or someone extremely important who can just up and leave my responsibilities during the middle of the day, I found myself stuck at work, forced to get my act together and smile for all of my colleagues and guests to see.


Before I could do so, I was sitting on my office floor, staring at the wall with blurry vision from salty tears that fought to the forefront of my eyes.


Now, before you go calling me dramatic, let me just explain something real quick.


This was not the first bad day I had. This was just another bad day amongst the countless others that seemed to exist back-to-back for the past few months. Work was stressful, and although I had intentionally prayed for better circumstances, God didn't seem to be answering that cry at the moment.


Digging into my drawer at my desk, I found a gift that one of my coworkers had given me: a small prayer box. Inside, there was a tiny pen and little blank pieces of paper, intended to be used as a canvas for the deep cries of my heart.


Honestly, I had forgotten about the box for awhile, so there was a clean slate inside the tin. With shaking hands and a drained heart, I wrote my first prayer. But this prayer wasn't a typical prayer. It wasn't a profound declaration or a need that I had longed for.


It was actually a question, birthed from a hopeless and dry soul that so desperately needed a touch from God:


What if it never gets better?


How many times does our mind ask this question without us realizing it?

How many times do we find ourselves wondering if the current situation we are facing has become our permanent reality?


How many times do we allow our feelings to consume us so that we can't see the future that God has promised us? (See Jeremiah 29:11)


In this moment, I fell captive to the lies of the enemy that plagued my mind to convince me that God wouldn't come through. I had made up my mind that I would be stuck in a workplace that brought back severe anxiety and insecurity to my life foooooorever. (<-- Please read that as it is said in The Sandlot. You will get the full effect here if you do so)


But then, two weeks later, it did get better. And in an even better way than I could have ever imagined.


Because here's the thing: I thought that God didn't hear me simply because He didn't answer my prayers on my own timing. I thought I was being punished because of my imperfections. I thought that God wanted to keep me where I was because I didn't deserve anything better.


The absolute truth is that I don't deserve anything that He has blessed me with over the past couple of months. I don't deserve it based on my works or my messy track record, but God sees our hearts, and He longs to bless those who glorify Him.


When we understand this truth, we can start to grasp hope that God wants to show His great mercy, power, and love through our lives.


"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

-Isaiah 40:31-


When we hand over our hope, we lose our strength. The will to keep fighting, and the source of abundance and joy comes when we choose to believe that God will bring us through and give us victory, even if we can't see how or when.


If Danielle today were to travel back and look the Danielle that sat on her office floor with tears in her eyes, and a shaking pen that brought her unbelief to paper, she probably would've had an extremely difficult time convincing past Danielle that she would be where she is today.


I mean for real. This is like total dream-level stuff.


But God.


The One who is able to do immeasurably MORE than you could ever THINK or IMAGINE...


He wants to reveal how truly amazing He is to you - and He wants to reveal His glory to you in perfect timing. Because when it happens on His watch, and not ours, He is the only one we can credit with victory.


You may not see how He could bring you through whatever you're facing, and you may not feel like He ever will. But if you submit your worries and cries of your heart to Him and choose to seek and praise Him amidst the confusion, He will transform your life in miraculous ways.


Don't lose hope. Your breakthrough could be right around the corner...


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